I miss my girls. Everytime i read sho's blog and she mentions meeting kaart n mal and all of em chillin n clubbin n havin fun i get a lil sad.. Everytime i think on all the stuff in their lives that im missing out on i think how unfair it is that im so far away. All the dinners,the shopping sprees, the gossip sessions.. the important things in their lives.. how i want to be there for them when they need me. Especially sho.. i hate bein so far away from you.. especially now.. at this time.. when i think u need me the most. I hate that sometimes you go to bed at nite feelin depressed and confused about things that are happening and that i'm not there to meet you and help you take your mind off things whenever u want. I hate that i hardly find time to call Kaart and Mal anymore. I hate that i don't really know wat's been goin on in Kaart's life anymore and i hardly bother to find out. I hate that mal's not here with me anymore and that i don't have my darling niece living next door to me, the one that i can run to after Uni and slack with, no one to go Broadway to grocery shop with, to play pool in the games room with, to go clubbing just the two of us alone n have the best time ever like that last time in Paramount. I hate that jesh probably doesn't realize how much i love her and she's my OS the one that i kept warm in India.. that i hate not having seen her in so long and she's the one person that i hardly get to meet up with when i'm back for holz.
These are the things that make me hate the distance so much. But somehow i can still survive. When im hanging wit Bhav or chillin wit da guys in Currie and im havin so much fun i realize that things aren't so bad. Im so glad that i have bhav to keep me company cuz i can talk to her about anything and everything and i found in a her sucha good friend that i never knew i had. And there's that one person that keeps me going.. that one person who doesn't know the effect he has on me. The one person that makes me want to crawl out of bed and go for meals when i'm feelin so anti-social and out of it. The one person that makes me actually want to stay on in Perth.. just to see his face.
These are the people in my life that i can't do without.. near or far it doesn't make a difference.. i still love them all the same.. What i though i hated the most was not being around for them when they need me.. but now i realize that maybe its not so much abt them needing me.. but more about me needing them.