Sunday, January 08, 2006

its a new yr

So im stuck in perth doin summer.. parents made me come back.. guess it makes more sense rather than comin back in semester 1 juz to do one unit. But still.. im all alone here in perth and terribly homesick. Feels lyk my holz ended abruptly.. and my year din exactly get off to a great start.. un-resolved issues... there's jus this weird feeling.. lyk this unsettled air around me. I juz wish i was back in spore la.. at least for now.. or i wish some of my frens were here. I know that when uni's abt to start n everyone starts flyin back to Perth then things will go back to bein normal n i'll be less insanely bored out of my brains but right now all i do is sit around and feel sorry for myself.. and i'm not even ashamed abt it. Yes.. i feel sorry for myself.. i think i've been put in a horrible situation.. and being alone is the worst feeling in the world. Oh just shut up n let me wallow for a while.. i'll get over it i know.. i'm just taking my time. The things that used to seem important don't anymore.. it feels lyk the last two years was this big routine.. and now im forced to come out of that routine and start a new one.. i hate change. I want things to go back to normal. I just want to go back to liking paiyan and look forward to seeing him in currie hall and hanging out wit bhav n da rest here n watchin dvdz n stuff.. i want my normal perth life back. I wish december din happen.. i know this is juz a feeling that won't last that long and i'll be back to normal sooner or later (hopefully sooner). Actually scratch that.. i AM glad december happened.. i mean all the crap issues aside.. hanging with my girls was the absolute best.. malibu, kaartsy, sho, jesh (finally!) n bhav(even tho it was juz that one time).. they realli each bring something different to my days and i cant imagine my life without these darlings. So maybe it wasn't such a bad ending to a pretty cool year.. and maybe i jus hafta learn from my other experiences and deal. No point worrying now that im so far away rite.. now that i'm here i shud juz concentrate on my one unit and hope that the days will get better (n cooler.. its burning in Perth man Summer is cruel!!) and that i dun gon insane from the loneliness.. can someone i know pls come to perth! Ugh.. ok.. im gettin sleepy. Been tryna live a normal life n so far so good... been goin to bed at normal times n wakin up b4 noon which is good enuff for me. Its only the first wk of summer sch n alreadi i haf a presentation due tuesdae.. but its cool cuz after that i can more or less slack off. Mid-sem's in 2 wks and final's 3.5 wks after that.. so i guess time mite fly pretty fast.. or it mite feel lyk the day's neva gonna end. I'll just hafta wait n see what 2006 has in store for me. It mite haf gotten off to a rotten start.. but i refuse to let anyone spoil my year.. i don't have any regrets.. and at the end of it all.. after all that's happened.. i still smile when i think of him.. so maybe it's not as bad as it seems.

No comments: